So we just went to see Angels & Demons. Why? Because it was at the cinema up the road and they have big seats and those chilli-flavoured crispy things and frankly, the idea of spending two hours sitting in the dark next to my wife felt slightly better than my alternatives of a) working and b) persuading my children not to make snorting noises through dinner. Also, I like to see what $100 million dollars gets spent on. Not so much on the script, sadly, but watching Tom Hanks find yet another angel statue with a sign on it saying 'Next Clue That Way!' gave me plenty of time to consider a rewrite of I Can't Think Straight called...Angels and Lesbians, by Shamim Sarif. Or perhaps Lesbians and Demons. Anyway, it would begin when Tala and Leyla are called to Rome on an urgent mission by Hani, who has gotten over Tala jilting him at the altar by taking a vow of celibacy and becoming as a priest in the Vatican. Our heroines then have to prevent Reema from crowning herself Pope, even as her cigarette starts spewing plumes of white smoke. Despite disguising Yasmin as a cardinal they are cruelly excluded from the corridors of power at every turn. After a brief interlude in a hotel room, dancing to 'Mambo Italiano' (have to keep that scene, right?), the pair fall through a trap door in the middle of the Trevi Fountain (where they had taken another break to participate in a Roman wet T shirt contest, which Tala was about to win), they race through underground tunnels and into a hidden crypt where they discover the housekeeper collecting vials of spit for the sole purpose of...but what am I doing?! If you want the rest of the story, you'll have to buy a movie ticket in 2010 like everyone else...