02 Dec Have a Cool Yule
So we whipped Hanan over to the doctor’s the other day. Since the last doctor we hung out with was tall, blonde and funny German actress Maria Furtwangler, I decided to accompany her, both for support but also for to ensure she wasn’t given a close exam by a model.
The consultant was lovely, and male. He poked and prodded warily, and ended the session giving her a short lecture on the benefits of relaxing more, taking care of herself and not juggling too much.
‘I wonder why he said that?’ Hanan asked me as we left and as she looked up from emailing on her iPhone. ‘I’m very relaxed.’
Perhaps in the same way the Pope is very atheist. I added a mini-lecture of my own and obtained a promise of a more enlightened way of living starting the next day.
Which was why I was perturbed to come our of a 6.30am shower to the sounds of a Macbook Air keyboard.
‘I thought you were going to start the day with 5 minutes of yoga breathing?’ I asked.
Hanan started sucking in air and typed faster. ‘I am!’
It got worse over breakfast, because my wife doesn’t leave time for such luxuries as eating. And so her new thing is having breakfast in the car. I know. We’ve all done it. Grabbed a cereal bar or a coffee and headed out. Except I noticed Hanan jangling ominously all the way to the front seat. She fell into the car and offloaded a glass of water with ice (and I mean a real glass), a cup of hot water with lemon (a porcelain cup, none of that safety cup stuff), a bowl of granola, yoghurt and honey, spoons, forks napkin and her laptop. I’d seen less silverware at Claridges.
‘Want me to drive?’ she asked, taking a bite and a sip at the same time. I almost said yes, just to see which part of her anatomy she would use to control the steering wheel, but I declined and pulled away like a great grandmother on Valium, because, bien sur, the cup and glass were full to the brim.
Nevertheless, my wife is feeling a little more Christmas spirit this year. I’ve persuaded her to join me and some friends to see Judy Garland in ‘Meet Me in St Louis’ on the big screen. I’ve negotiated 3 days off to cook and watch food channels over Christmas itself. And yesterday brought the car to a screeching halt that sent toast remains all over the floor when she passed the first fresh Christmas tree display.
‘Let’s get one for the office!’ she cried, sizing up an 8 footer.
We compromised on a 4 foot tree that is still a tad too large for EP HQ, unless we give up an intern, or assign one to hold the tree while wearing a green leotard. But Olalla, our Spanish intern, skipped down to meet us and started draping lights and baubles all over the place. She was joined by Aliki (Greek) and Tom (new, British and bewildered by EP Christmas protocol). It wasn’t long before Karen from Creative Associates, and the genius behind the I Can’t Think Straight Series website came in for a meeting, closely followed by Sue, our Head of Marketing, and at this time of year, Head Elf.
It was a fun day. Almost relaxing. And since doctor’s orders are to relax, relax we will. If it kills us.