It was some wise guy like Socrates who said 'The unexamined life is not worth living', but after much meditation, I have to conclude that what he actually meant was 'The decaffeinated life is not worth living'. Hanan almost willed me to go back on coffee and wine (moderately, of course) after my third bout of spontaneous weeping and my seventh day in a row snapping at the kids like a demented piranha. And so a glorious, coffee-filled end to a very long week, frankly, which began with the two of us standing in sub-zero temperatures to watch Luca playing football in shorts. We waved his tracksuit pants at him, but he refused to leave the pitch. Hanan's eyes narrowed, she gave me the nod, and like a well-oiled machine we invaded the pitch and wrestled him into the pants. Yes, he was mortified, but they were already losing, and with a lot of therapy he'll get over it. From there, it was a week of four hour exams and school interviews for Ethan. Everyone told us he should brush up on current affairs. So I interviewed him.
'What's the recession?' I began.
He looked at me blankly 'Is it a place?'
'Hmmm. OK, where was there an earthquake recently?'
He shrugged.
'London!' shouted Luca. 'I saw the table wobble, I did, Mummy.'
I put him in front of the news and went back to work on my new book - a collection of last year's blogs, along with around 80 never-before-seen photos. The best part was sorting through all those behind the scenes shots from The World Unseen and I Can't Think Straight, and it's nearly done, but in the meantime I have fallen behind my deadline for the video competition judging. I was watching them last week, sort of scribbling comments on a random piece of paper, when an email from Aida popped into my Inbox, containing a spreadsheet listing all the videos and comments from her and Hanan. In the rest of her spare time, Aida has been dealing my books for cash from the back of her car in response to stunning demand from our new posse of uber-fans in LA. Anyone can make a mail order purchase - now the really cool thing to do is meet Aida in a Starbucks parking lot. Can a drive-thru Enlightenment kiosk be far behind? Film fans of good taste could call in an order for a Combo Special (a DVD box set) or the Super Combo (box set plus book) or the Make-Your-Own Movie Special (director's commentary and a year with Hanan). Well, I'd love to think about this more, but I have a lot of videos to watch, all of them cut to Leonie Casanova songs and I don't want to miss hearing 'Little Feeling' again...and again...and again...

Lisa Ray asks for directions to the nearest Enlightenment drive-thru concession